A Beginner's Guide to the Incomprehensible Mess that is My Brain.

I wanted a blog.

Why, you ask? Well, to be perfectly honest with you, I haven’t the faintest. For the longest time, I have tried to keep a diary. As an English major, everyone told me it was the thing to do.

“Write about your day. Express your deepest thoughts. Pen down your secrets, pour your friggin’ heart out!”

You get the general idea...

The fact of the matter is, embarrassing as it is to admit this, my thoughts aren’t usually all that deep, I don’t have that fantastic of a heart, certainly nothing to write home about; and honestly, in my view, if you really want something kept a secret, for the love of God keep your trap shut about it and don’t write it down on a piece of paper anyone and everyone can read if they felt like it! Like seriously, how hard of a concept is that to grasp? If you effing write something down in vivid detail, on white paper with black ink and all that jazz, at some point somebody’s gonna wanna read it. And then, there goes your secret, right down the drain, don’t it? And if you still must do it, at least have the sense to write it in some fancy indecipherable code that only Alan Turing can break, like the one the Germans came up with in The Imitation Game and excuse me a moment while I cry ok done.

All that being said and done, you might now want to ask me:
“But my dear woman, why on Earth do you wanna write an effing blog, seeing as you seem to have nothing to write about?!”

And the tragedy of it all is that, I really couldn’t tell you. Apart from the fact that maybe I am one of those sorry souls put on this Earth for the express purpose of forever starting projects I am never going to finish. And blog-writing being one of those rare activities in the world that a) costs no money, and b) has no mandatory finish-line, it gives this poor, procrastinating college student something to do with her limitless free time that wouldn’t make her feel terribly guilty about it when she finally succumbs to laziness and doesn’t touch pen to paper for weeks on end. Well, that’s my current excuse anyway. Mostly I am just a very random sort of person with profoundly random ideas that never ultimately lead anywhere and best case scenario – this is another one of my wild goose chases in search of something worthwhile to do with my life that will at least be fun while it lasts. 

Huh, note to self: Write shorter sentences! Ain’t nobody’s got the time to read your long-ass epic rants of random nothingness.

Well anyway, back to the topic at hand. 

Seeing as I have nothing in particular to talk about, I’m just gonna talk about a bit of everything, and a lot of nothing that crosses my mind.

Why should you bother to read it?

Well, again, the sad fact of the matter is that I haven’t the faintest. Honestly? I probably wouldn’t if I were you. But that’s mostly because I know me, and I don’t trust me not to churn out random whirlwinds of epic weirdness followed by eerie silences, end-pause-repeat until I find something shinier to occupy my magnificently uncooperative brain.

But until then, my poor, internet-addicted souls, you are stuck with me. And since you are, you know, you might as well enjoy this bumpy ride while you’re at it. ’Cuz sooner or later, you’re gonna fall off the vehicle and break your spine; or I’ll drive the thing into a bottomless ravine of incomprehensible weirdness. Whichever comes first.

So say your prayers, adjust your seat-belts, and prepare to be exasperated!

Fair warning: I have it from reliable sources that I am a profoundly exasperating individual. 
Can’t say I didn’t warn ya now, can you?

All set? Great!

Let It Rip!!!

(Random Beyblade reference. Don’t ask me why. Just...don’t!)