Leaving Home – A Brand New Journey.

“We are perpetually torn between nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the foreign and the strange. As often as not, we are homesick most for the places we have never known.”
― Carson McCullers

I’m sorry for the very late update, guys. Unfortunately, for the past few weeks I’ve barely had the time to catch any sleep, much less write anything.

So here’s the big news. I’m now a newly minted graduate, and all set to start my new life at university!

But things aren’t just excitement and fun. In fact, at the moment, they’re quite the opposite. Why, you ask? Because government universities in India appear to bear a terrible grudge against punctuality. Well, most of them anyway. Some of them have been thoroughly punctual, but unfortunately those were the exceptions. The rest seem to be of the opinion that declaring the results of entrance exams is only a little less important than watching tumbly-puppy videos on YouTube.

But the thing is, while I still don’t know for sure which of the several fantastic universities across the length and breadth of this beautiful country I will finally end up in, I know one thing for certain. It ain't gonna be one in my city.

Now don’t get me wrong here. I LOVE my city. I love its roads and its (sometimes ramshackle) buses and its cafes and malls and parks. I love the phuchka stalls at every street-corner and the jhalmuri uncles on the local trains. I’ve had the time of my life here, in the nooks and crannies of this gorgeous town! There is absolutely nothing about it I won’t miss. Well, maybe the traffic. Probably won’t miss that too much; but then, that’s neither here nor there.

Now you might be asking the question, if you loved it so much, why leave? 

It certainly isn’t that there aren’t any good universities in Kolkata. There are, and very good ones at that. Many of my friends have decided to remain here to pursue their post graduate studies, while many others left right after school. Personally, I made no attempt to leave home after school, didn’t even apply to any colleges outside Kolkata. And you know what? I’m glad I didn’t. I wasn’t ready yet. Hell, I barely know if I’m ready now.

But I always knew that at some point or the other, I would leave. And if I don’t do it now, I don’t think I ever will. Familiarity is addictive, nice warm and comfortable, like a soft worn blanket on your shoulders. It’s not something you wanna get rid of if you can possibly help it, no matter how frayed it’s gotten. Well, at least I don’t.

But sooner or later, it must be done. Not for lack of love for the familiar. As I said, I have loved every moment of my life in Kolkata. But there’s more to the world than home. Hell, when you think about it, in the vast stretches of empty space that is our universe, the entire world is home! A tiny oasis of familiarity and comfort in a scary sea of the unknown.

And it is scary, to wade out into the unfamiliar, unknown waters of that sea all on my own, leaving everything I know behind. I don’t know how I’ll fare, whether I’ll sink or swim in the new waters.

But that’s the point! I have to find out for myself! I need to know what’s out there, what the world looks like from the windows of a room not my own. In a strange way, I feel as if I have to leave my comfort zone to learn to be comfortable in my own skin. I don’t even know if that makes any sense, but somehow, it feels important to me.

Perhaps it is just another rite of passage that I have to overcome before I can really call myself an adult – not just chronologically, but in all the ways that really matter. I know I’ll be homesick, probably even pretty depressed for the first few weeks. Hell, I’m missing my friends already, not to mention my home and family. But maybe, hopefully, I’ll also learn some new things while I’m at it, meet new people and gain some new experiences that would have eluded me in the comfort of my home.

And the best part? Through all of it, through all the excitement and the heartache, the adventures and the nostalgia, I’ll always have a home to call my own, a place to return to when the outside world gets to be too much. 

I’ll always have my city, my Kolkata!!! :)