Of Romance – the Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

Disclaimer and Warning: Hardcore Twihards proceed with caution. The following article contains a fair amount of criticism of that series, so read at yer own risk!!

Hi there my lovely readers!! Hope you’re all doing well.

So I wanna talk about something particular today; something that might seem a bit cliché, but then again, we have clichés for a reason. Namely, because some things are just so all-pervasive in life that you simply cannot escape them, no matter how hard you try.

So today’s topic will be Romance – fictional romance, to be precise – romantic relationships as portrayed in various works of fiction including but not limited to TV, books, movies etc.

Now a little disclaimer here; I have to admit that I am not exactly the biggest fan of romance, or at least of certain kinds of romance, when it comes to the world of fiction. At first I thought that perhaps romance just wasn’t my cup of tea to begin with, perhaps I just wasn’t destined to enjoy the hearts and the butterflies in the lives of my beloved fictional characters.

As I’ve gotten older (though not particularly wiser, I daresay), however, I have slowly come to realise that that is not necessarily the case. While I am still not (and perhaps never will be) the biggest reader (or watcher) of romance, I have come to the conclusion that I actually quite enjoy certain kinds of romance.

The book that first made me realise this was, perhaps fittingly, Jane Austen’s ‘Pride & Prejudice’. It wasn’t a book I would have ever picked up of my own volition, but it had been a part of my college syllabus last year, and seeing as I already owned a copy – a birthday gift from years ago that I had never yet attempted to read – I figured I might as well give it a try.

And boy was I thankful that I did!

It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that Pride & Prejudice has earned its rightful place on my list of Top 5 Favourite Books in the History of Ever!

I loved the characters, the plot, the atmosphere of late 18^th century England. There was literally nothing about that book that I didn’t absolutely adore!!

But wait a second, how could that possibly be?!
’Cause unless I’m terribly mistaken, P&P is hardcore romance, is it not?

Elizabeth and Darcy are the epitome of a perfect romantic pairing – the odd couple that could not be more different from each other and hate each other on sight, but are slowly brought together over a series of misunderstandings and confrontations until they finally come to love and understand each other more than anyone else ever could – it is the cliché-est of all cliché romantic tropes when you come to think about it.

So how come I did not hate Pride & Prejudice? Hell, how on earth did I end up loving it more than life itself?! That doesn’t seem right.

Hmmm...

My Romantic Pet Peeves

This odd realisation made me rethink some of my own prejudices about the romantic genre, and come to certain surprising (or maybe not-so-surprising) conclusions.

As I looked back upon some of my favourite books of all time, I realised that quite a few of them are either outright romances, or have significant romantic subplots. These include but are not limited to – Little Women, Emma, Good Wives, The Count of Monte Cristo, Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, etc. Plus I happen to love fanfic, which let’s just admit is nothing if not a self-indulgent exercise in drowning in the feels!

So quite obviously, it could not be that I hate romance in general. Rather, it is certain very common sub-tropes of the romantic genre that I seem to dislike. Here are a few of the same that I have been able to identify so far...

1.     INSTA-LOVE:

Well, I don’t think this at least comes as much of a surprise to anyone. Most people don’t like insta-love. For those non-nerdy souls who don’t know what the term means, here’s what Urban Dictionary has to say about the matter –

When someone who just met you thinks that you are their soul mate and they want to spend the rest of their lives with you and have kids with you. Usually you don’t feel that same about them.

Insta-love in fiction manifests itself in the form of a hero and a heroine who meet each other, and from that moment onwards seem quite unable to take their eyes off each other for more than half a second. This is annoying for several reasons, the main one being – how the fuck do you even know the dude (or dudette) you are so enamoured by is not actually an escaped serial killer?!

Insta-love poses a terrible existential problem to my mind. How can you truly love a person you don’t even understand?

Perhaps there are people out there who get it, I sure don’t. I mean sure, you fall in love with a person and he eventually turns out to be a great guy (forgive the gender bias here but I am a girl and it’s hard to maintain linguistic balance while ranting), which is usually how it turns out in books, and that’s all well and good. But how on earth did the protagonist know for sure, from the first moment they met their SO, that this would actually be the case? Edward Cullen could well have been a psychotic mass-murdering vampire all the while Bella was obsessing over him from afar.

And while I am profoundly grateful that he wasn’t, the point is that he easily could have been, and Bella would still have been obsessed with him, because she had no way of knowing anything about him or his personality when she fell for him head over heels!

I mean I realise that people do have obsessions, romantic and otherwise, but to present that as a desirable ideal of a loving relationship seems quite a bit silly to me. Call me a heartless robot, but when you see a pale-as-fuck vampirish dude who keeps to himself and talks to no-one outside of his tiny coterie, maybe exercise some semblance of caution before launching yourself into a whirl-wind romance with your potential loving blood-sucker.

Which brings me straight to my next romantic pet-peeve –

2.     OBSESSION:

Many people don’t seem to realise this, but there is a fine distinction between loving someone and being mindlessly obsessed with them.

As an illustration of this point let me present to you the differences in the depiction of love in the aforementioned books – PRIDE AND PREJUDICE and TWILIGHT.

In P&P, you can trace with an unerring finger the development of the relationship between the two MCs. Elizabeth dislikes Darcy when she first meets him, and it is not a random emotion she feels for no good reason. She overhears him arrogantly dismissing her as a dancing partner at the ball, and while this might seem like a trivial offence, her reaction is appropriately nonchalant. She finds it annoying, because let’s be honest here, who wouldn’t? No girl wants to be told she ain’t pretty. But it’s just that, a minor irritation. She then goes on to discover the (untrue) fact that Darcy had cruelly defrauded the son of his father’s faithful valet (or was it butler? I forget). Following which she learns that Darcy had played a significant role in breaking up her sister Jane’s relationship with Mr. Bingley. At this point she has several very good reasons to hate the man, and she does. With quite the burning passion.

Things take a turn for the better with Darcy writing her the letter of explanation and apology, in which he explains to her Wickham’s elaborate deception of them both and the real reason that Wickham now lived a life of penury. She then goes to Pemberley where she meets Darcy’s housekeeper and the other workers at his estate, who all agree that he is a kind and beneficent master. Finally Darcy helps Elizabeth to find her missing sister and recover her family’s honour, at a personal cost of having to once again confront the man who had once caused him so much pain.

After all this, one can understand perfectly why our heroine would want to marry such an altruistic and kind hero. (That he has a huge-ass mansion doesn’t hurt any!)

Because Darcy, despite all his broodiness, is indeed just that – a hero.

And while Edward also turns out to be quite the nice guy over the course of the series, Bella had no way of knowing that when she got swept off her feet by his ethereal ghostliness. At the beginning of the first book, Edward is rude, secretive, insensitive and an obsessive loner who talks to none of his classmates. And Bella falls for him anyway.

Why? Well, from what it looked like, she got obsessed with the pale glory of his potentially sparkly skin at first sight! It is not that Edward Cullen had no lovable qualities – he was kind, altruistic, protective and very loyal to his adoptive family. And I would be completely on board with this relationship if only Bella had waited until she actually got to know of any of these qualities before she started throwing herself at him. But at least as far as the book went, she didn’t seem to love him for the man he was, but for the prettiness of his vampiric face. And that, I just can’t be down with!

Because that, my friends, is not love, it is obsession (and of a very unhealthy variety at that).

3.     OVER-THE-TOP ANGST:

Now don’t get me wrong, people – I happen to be a sucker for well-written angst! And there are some situations wherein the angst is to be expected.

When your Godfather just got killed by the psychotic follower of an evil overlord, angsty you will be, and rightfully so. When you are being subconsciously manipulated into being the tool of said evil overlord through his black-magicky diary while a murderous snake goes on a rampage throughout your school, again, the angst is perfectly justified. Torture by Government, particularly the variety portrayed in THG, is also a perfectly valid excuse for feelings of overwhelming despair.

You know what isn’t?

Going on a suicidal rampage of angsty melodrama ’cause a boy you met less than a year ago has moved out of town, which is exactly what Bella did in the second book of the Twilight Saga, ‘New Moon’, which I was unable to finish despite concerted efforts to recover the ₹300 I had spent on its purchase at the urging of a close friend from school. I mean I understand being sad that you won’t be seeing your crush again anytime soon, but jumping off cliffs and trying your best to become road-kill? Really, woman?!

If your life loses all meaning because ONE person, whom you didn’t even know a year ago, has left you, then it never had any meaning in the first place. You might as well never have lived, never formed any other bonds or relationships, never had any other memories.

If losing one person, a person who wasn’t even a part of your life for the majority of your existence on this planet, makes you want to kill yourself, makes you want to throw away every other relationship you ever had, then why the fuck were you even alive for this long anyway?

Stories that go over-the-top with the angst just end up making their characters seem whiny and pathetic.  And nobody likes a tale revolving around head-ache inducing protagonists.

There is a fine line between drama and melodrama, and romance, unfortunately, is the genre most guilty of waltzing back and forth between the two sides with little regard for believability or even aesthetic appeal. An emotion too overtly stressed eventually loses its value.

So, what are some of your greatest pet-peeves in the genre of romance, or any other fictional genre, for that matter?! Let me know in the comments below.

––– Buh-byeee!!!