Of Shitty Bosses and Long Commutes – Busting the Myth of a Perfect Career

Life is what happens to us while we’re busy making other plans.

And it isn’t just ourselves for whom we make plans, either. We make them for others too. And no one does this more than parents.

Mine certainly did. Good school – better college – elite university – high end job. That was the plan.

And if you cribbed about any of the steps in the process? If you didn’t like the curriculum at school or hated the professors at college? Well, you see, there’s a reason for all the pain you’re going through now, all the seemingly pointless stress and hardship.

The Myth of the Perfect Job

And that reason – the end goal of all this struggle and strife – is, of course, a GOOD job.

That was supposed to be the ultimate deliverance. Get a good job and your life is set. You’ll never face another problem again. Study as hard as you can now, sacrifice fun and frivolity, so that you can lead the good life and fulfill all your dreams after you have reached that Promised Land –

The hallowed realm of a 9-5 office job with security, insurance, and maybe even a provident fund!

And somehow, I fell for this fairy tale hook, line, and sinker. Perhaps I was naïve, but I certainly wasn’t alone. Most of my friends believed it too. Believed that everything they didn’t or couldn’t have now, they’d get once they reached the Promised Land of Gainful Employment. That all the sacrifices made now, all the missed parties and cancelled dates, will pay off once they had that GOOD job.

And then we got the jobs.

And sheesh! What a bloody disappointment. Was this supposed to be the perfect job, the perfect career, and the perfect life that made all of those sleepless nights and endless tests worth it? Was this what I was supposed to do for the next 40-odd years? This was the sacred goal we’d all been striving for over the last two decades?

‘Cause it didn’t feel like freedom. It certainly didn’t feel like any kind of a reward. On the contrary, I felt more shackled and stressed and frantic than I ever had before.

A Brief Sojourn Into the Past

Okay, so let’s back up a bit. How did we get here?

I got my post-graduate degree in Journalism and, through the placement drive at our college, got placed at a renowned digital media company in another city. However, I eventually ended up not taking that job, mostly because I didn’t think I’d be able to get any writing done while adjusting to a new city and a new job.

Of course, that’s not to say that it can’t be done, just that I didn’t feel I could do it at that point in my life.

So I returned home, and within a month, found a job at the regional branch of a national newspaper.

And landed straight into a toxic work environment with a bullying gas-lighter of a boss.

Had this happened today, I would have known exactly what was happening and walked out of the place within the first week. But I was young, inexperienced, confused and scared half to death. I was surrounded by people who kept telling me just how hard it was to get a job, how competitive the market was, what the rate of unemployment in the country was, and how terrible an idea it was to leave a relatively good job with decent opportunity for growth.

And then, one day I realized that I couldn’t imagine going back to that office without wanting to hurl myself over a cliff. And so, to the shock and apprehension of friends and family alike, I quit.

I then took a three month break to get an operation I had been putting off for over a year and write the first draft of my second novel.

Once that first draft was complete, I began job hunting again. The best offer (or at least the one that seemed to be) came from a pretty big company whose office was located almost two hours away from my home.

I had never had a long commute before, so I guess I underestimated the toll it took on you. Anyway, after I started the job, it turned out that the company had hired a bunch of people and done a bait and switch on them. We had been hired for the job of content writing, but what we were essentially doing was data entry.

Again, it was a confusing and frustrating situation. HR kept trying to mislead us and as most of the recruits were freshers and new to the job market, none of them really knew how to respond to the situation in a way that wouldn’t be counterproductive. We were also all scared to death and intimidated by our seniors.

So basically, I ended up traveling four hours a day for a 9-hour shift, six days a week, doing work that bored me to tears.

I also felt twice the amount of pressure, as I had already left one job because of a bad work environment. Was I really going to leave another one because I didn’t like the work?

I did. Within two weeks of joining.

Job Hopping – The Spice of Life

I then took a third job (with a massive pay cut, because I was desperate) very close to my home. This company was pretty much a content mill with a tiny office that made us write 5k words of regurgitated articles a day, every day.

But hell, at least I was writing. And the fact that the office was a 30 minute walk from my home also saved me a ton of time that I could then use to work on my own projects. I also had one of my closest friends from college as a colleague, which made it a pleasure to go to work every day. There was at least one thing in the office that I was always looking forward to!

This continued for six months, by which point I’d gotten quite good at the job and quite bored of being underpaid and overworked day in and day out.

Thus began my fourth job hunt in just over a year.

But I was more careful this time! I’d learned from my mistakes, and I was in no hurry to get a new job, as I already had one that I didn’t actively hate.

I carefully researched every single company that I applied to and ensured that they all met my criteria – no long commutes and no six-day work weeks. And of course, no toxic work environment.

I finally found a company that seemed to meet most of these demands halfway. It was an hour’s bus ride away from my home, it had every other Saturday off, the people seemed nice, and the pay wasn’t shabby either. It was certainly the best offer I’d gotten so far.

So I took it.

And then freaked the hell out over the one month when I was serving my notice period. My current company was not an ideal place to work by any stretch of the imagination. But it definitely had its perks.

I had friends at the office, the work environment was reasonably good, and it was a short walk away from my house. I was good at the work I was doing and knew that I was a valued member of the team.

And I was leaving all that behind for a place that I knew nothing about. Sure, I’d done my homework and read Glassdoor reviews. But that was hardly fool proof evidence of anything.

For all I knew, I’d probably end up back in a toxic culture with a psycho boss doing data entry.

So when my (former) boss asked me to reconsider my decision a week before the last day of my notice period, I was in a real dilemma. Of course, I wanted a better job. But what’s to say that the next job would be any better? What’s to say it wouldn’t be worse?

As you can probably tell, to say that my experiences in the job market had scarred me would be an understatement.

A Leap of Faith

In the end though, I did stick to my decision and make the transition.

It was scary as all hell, and I was pretty much jumping at shadows my first week at the new office, waiting for the other shoe to drop and everything to blow up in my face.

It didn’t, though. Everything was nice and civilized and just as it had seemed from the outside. Nobody bullied me, called me names, or asked me to do anything I wasn’t meant to be doing. Nor was I expected to write 5k words a day, every day. Thank heaven for that!

There was even a coffee machine with an unlimited supply of free coffee! Three cheers for my budding caffeine addiction. Yay!!!

I could scarcely believe my luck! I felt like I’d reached heaven. Sure, it wasn’t the Promised Land we’d all dreamed of in musty classrooms with cranky teachers. It certainly didn’t solve all my problems or make the trials and tribulations of high school feel worth it.

But it was something even better. It was a real place where I was really happy, where I felt like I belonged. Well, most of the time anyway.

The Reality We Never Talk About

So you might be wondering why I’m telling you all this. The purpose of this article isn’t to give you the abridged edition of my life story.

I’m writing this because I think that someone needs to say this out loud. Hell, I wish someone had told me all of this when my life was spiraling into chaos.

A job is NOT your life’s purpose. It is NOT your identity. It is in fact nothing more than a means to an end; the end being a reasonably comfortable lifestyle. And it’s certainly not the ONLY means to that end. There are plenty of others.

I don’t know why we’ve created this ridiculous hype around jobs. I didn’t even notice it was there until I was torn (quite rudely) out of it by circumstances. We’re essentially telling students that the purpose of their education, their life, is to get the highest package at the most renowned company.

Like really? Is that how sad a place the world is, that sitting in a cubicle nine hours a day is literally the most exciting and fulfilling thing we can think of?

I’m not saying that having a good job isn’t important, of course. It’s terribly important. And if you can manage to find a job that brings you prestige, happiness, money, and fulfilment, you’ve quite literally hit the jackpot! Enjoy it!

But that’s the point. Such jobs are an (extreme) rarity. Most jobs are vaguely boring and repetitive at best, mind-numbingly stressful and exhausting at worst. Add to that the issues of commute, work environment, stress tolerance, long hours, and matching the right job with the right person, and it’s quite improbable that you’ll manage to find that one perfect job that can transform your miserable life into an overnight success story.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t have jobs. I’m just saying that we should have more realistic expectations about what employment actually entails. Having a job is not some magical gateway into the land of freedom and extravagance. It’s just an exchange of time and labor for money. And nobody ever pays you for having a good time.

Giving children a realistic idea of what jobs entail, instead of perpetuating the ridiculous idea that all problems will be solved and all your hard work rewarded as soon as you land that one perfect job, will actually help prepare them better for the job market and make them better employees.

Let’s Just Tell the Goddamn Truth

Getting a job may solve some problems, chiefly financial, but it brings a host of new ones. Lack of time, too much stress, fraying relationships, and chronic exhaustion, just to name a few. We need to help students prepare to deal with these potential problems before they start working, instead of hand-waving them with meaningless fairytales until they land face first into disillusioned bafflement.

I felt compelled to write this post because I saw so many of my peers confused and stressed out by the realities of corporate life once they started working. I started work a year before most of my classmates, so I already had some experience by the time they started entering the workforce earlier this year.

And boy was it a throwback to the good old days of corporate newbie-dom! The confusion, the stress, the feelings of inadequacy and disappointment. The miserable realization that this was going to continue for the next 40 years. If I never have to feel those feelings again in my life, it would be a lifetime too soon! A little bit of warning wouldn’t have gone amiss, teachers and parents!

It’s Okay to be the Ugly Corporate Duckling

So I guess what I’m trying to say is this. If you don’t love your job, that’s okay. Most people don’t. There’s nothing wrong with you for not being ecstatic at the prospect of spending nine hours a day, six days a week, sitting in a chair doing some repetitive task hour after hour, day after day. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to wake up at the crack of dawn and endure hour-long rides in overcrowded buses. That’s drudgery, and while it may well be an essential part of life, we shouldn’t be so afraid of calling it exactly what it is.

And if you hate your job? Get out.

But don’t jump from the frying pan only to land into the fire (or at least try not to, shit happens sometimes). Ask yourself what makes your present situation so terrible for you personally; not everybody is bothered by the same problems.

You might be going out of your mind from the monotony of a job that someone else finds quite interesting. You might hate a work culture that a different type of person would love. So decide on the things that you want (and don’t want) and then look for a job that can meet most, if not all, of those criteria.

Know What You Want

For me personally, I wanted a job that would involve writing and that would leave me with enough time and energy to work on my own projects. So that’s what I looked for (and finally got, the fourth time around).

Someone else might want more excitement, or quick growth, or even a prettier office. Those are all valid desires, but you can’t get what you want if you don’t even know what it is.

You don’t have to go for the biggest company or the highest package just because those are popular priorities. And you certainly don’t need to stay with a bad employer just because there’s too much competition in the job market. There will never be enough jobs in the market if you don’t start looking.

And Don’t Fall For the Hype

In conclusion? Jobs are hard and tiring and time consuming. They can also be boring and toxic and stressful.

So don’t blame yourself for not fitting the popular image of a smart, smiling, and snappily dressed corporate employee. Because that’s all it really is – an image.

And not a very realistic one at that!