Collided with you on
my way to work,
No, it wasn’t a sign,
wasn’t destiny’s quirk.
A swollen temple and
a bruised nose
Do not herald a date,
a wedding, or even a rose.
Dropped my books on
my way to class,
Our fingers brushed
when you knelt on the grass
Music blasting from
the dorm on the second floor
I nodded my thanks
and walked through the door.
I know they say it’s
divine intervention,
But it’s more just my
lack of hand-eye coordination.
I know you believe we
were meant to be
But I need spectacles
more than a relationship.
Now my scarf’s stuck
to your wrist watch,
My hem’s ripped, your
buckle’s botched.
I knew I shouldn’t
have bought the lace
Oh shit! Did you
think this was decreed by fate?
Spilled my coffee on
your shirt front
Damn! Was it Ralph
Lauren? Peter England?
Here’s a coupon for a
dry-cleaning discount
Just tell me you
don’t think this counts.
Look, I’m not saying
you’re reading too much into this,
Though that might be
an accurate analysis.
All I’m saying is our
future looks accident prone
So maybe invest in an
insurance plan before a wedding loan.
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